Starting this blog with my friend Katie, I did not think I would ever write a piece such as this but it is something I feel affects many of us – feeling guilty as a mum. We, as mums have all probably experienced this at some point I’m sure. So, for what it’s worth, here are my thoughts as a stay-at-home-mum.
Whether we are stay-at-home mums, work part-time or full-time we, as mothers often have a feeling of guilt over the options we have chosen. We find ourselves having to justify the reasons for our decision, whatever it may be and can be made to feel as though we have taken the “easy option”, whether we go out to work or stay at home. If we go out to work we are often told we get to escape, drink a whole cup of coffee without interruption and get to “dress-up” for work. If we stay at home, apparently all we do is meet friends for coffee, and maybe break from drinking coffee to shop and watch daytime television.
I feel sad and angry when we mums have to justify our hugely important roles and are put down – often by other women. Maybe this is to make ourselves feel less guilty? I have been told numerous times that, as a stay-at-home mum I have it easy and I have even been asked what I do all day. After working in London, becoming a stay-at-home mum, although extremely rewarding sometimes feels like groundhog day as I carry out the less than glamorous chores which are involved in domestic life. My husband leaves for work before the boys wake up and more often than not is home in time maybe for half an hour with his sons before they go to bed. We appreciate this is our choice but it does place pressure on me to make sure hubbie does not have to spend what precious little time he has with the kids in the evening or at weekends doing household jobs. He has the guilt of a full-time working mum of feeling as though he does not see his children enough so I want to make sure he gets quality time as he is not getting the quantity of time.
I have been guilty (there’s that word again) when the boys are playing up of wishing (through rose-tinted glasses I may add) I was still commuting to London so I could have an hour on the train to read a book, catch up on the news (I rarely see the news now and feel rather ignorant of what is happening in the world around me), have a cheeky glass of wine or maybe even a snooze. In reality there were delays, fighting for a seat and once when I was heavily pregnant I had a snooze and woke up a few stops down the line which meant a long wait in the cold for a train back home.
I really hope that although there is a part of human nature which always seems to encourage jealousy, we can look beyond the pettiness of comparisons and be happy with what we have in the here and now – as the old saying goes, life is short so make the most of it, every single day. Being a parent is one of the best albeit most tiring, and emotional jobs in world world, but by gosh, its worth it!
Georgie
